It’s time to make Dubai ladies’ nights less annoying… 


Far be it from us to criticise the ladies’ night. It’s a Dubai institution and the city would be a poorer place without it. Not to mention us, we’d be much poorer too.

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What we could live without are the cliched marketing ploys some Dubai venues use to promote their offers (sugary pink cocktails! The word “heels”! Microscopic, calorie-controlled canapés!)

Is it too much to ask to have our discounted drinks sans the side order of sweeping stereotypes?

Here are five marketing tactics we’ve witnessed in Dubai that do not, in fact, make a ladies’ night any more appealing to women:

1. Pink/fur-trimmed cushions brought out especially for the occasion

Who decided this was a good way of getting women through the door? Do they imagine we feel more at home when surrounded by pastel shades and flammable fabrics?

2. Shoe-horning the word “gossip” into the branding

Blake Lively
Can’t wait to slate everyone I know later 

Contrary to popular belief, girls don’t schedule a time and date to get together and talk about one another. We do it over Whatsapp.

3. Pink cupcakes/macarons

Carrie Bradshaw
This scene is over ten years old

Can we move on already?

4. Muscular men in singlets to escort us into the venue

Ryan Gosling
Sadly, they almost never look anything like this

We already knew the way to the bar, and also it’s really far, and neither of us is saying anything… this is just plain awkward now.

5. “Guilt-free” calorie controlled canapés

Canape
“Shawarma on the way home?” Photo: Facebook/ShayAaronMiniatures.

We didn’t know we had to feel bad about eating it until YOU JUST SAID IT. We will eat the canapé, or we won’t – we don’t need tacit approval from whichever establishment we’ve chosen to spend our Tuesday night in.

PS. If we are eating them, we’d prefer they weren’t the size of a one dirham coin (although, it does make them easier to get our tiny lady hands around).

We’ve come straight from the office, and so some sliders would taste really good right about now…

Enfin…

To attract the custom of Dubai’s female population, try this simple formula: Good music + good food + good value. That’s it. Done. And please, spare us the scatter cushions.