The first wave of the summer blockbusters…

It’s phase one of the summer blockbusters and we’ve got quite the mixed bag of popcorn for you this month. There’s the familiar cheesy flavour of a massive action flick, a sweet-looking musical biopic, a toffee tinted animated origin story, salty dino-dynasty sequel and the unpopped kernels of a jump-scare psychological thriller. Bon appetit.

A Day to Die

This action spectacle will be one of Bruce Willis’ last scheduled releases, after an announcement that he’s leaving the acting world, due to health reasons. And the synopsis, as with the title, sounds about as fittingly close to a Die Hard homage as you’re likely to find. Directed by Wes Miller, Willis plays veteran parole officer, Connor Connolly who becomes indebted to a local mob boss. To pay off his dues, he must perform a series of heists all within 12 hours, before ultimately going up against a corrupt chief of police. Will it generate Oscar buzz? Eh, unlikely, will it be an on-brand ‘farewell to the party, pal’ for one of the action genre’s best-loved ambassadors? We predict a big yippee-kay-yes.

Expected: June 2, 2022

Jurassic World Dominion

The Carnotaurus is out of the bag. Following the cataclysmic finale of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) human beings are now forced to coexist side-by-cageless-side with giant extinction-reversing murder lizards. This is the third film of the Jurassic World Series (and the sixth of the Jurassic Park saga overall) and sees Chris Pratt teaming up with OG dino dodgers Laura Dern, Sam Neill and Jeff Goldblum — to help humanity avoid ending up as an extended velociraptor tasting menu. It’s great that they’ve got the band back together (sans Richard *sobs* Attenborough), but really at this point, if human beings haven’t learned to stop poking the Dilophosaurus nest, do we even deserve a happy ending?

Expected: June 10, 2022

The Black Phone

Scott Derrickson picked up this directing project after a conflict of interest with the Marvel team over where to take Doctor Strange in his Multiverse of Madness. The house of capes’ loss, was this haunting specter of psychological horror’s gain. The Black Phone, is an abduction tale, where a young boy imprisoned in a dingy basement who, using a disconnected phone, is able to communicate with the past victims of his captor, the mysterious serial killer known as ‘Grabber’. The villain of the piece looks to be played eerily well by the tidal fame talent of Ethan Hawke. From the trailer alone, we reckon we’ve racked up about a month’s worth of sleeping with the lights on.

Expected: June 23, 2022

Elvis

Baz Luhrmann projects don’t come around often, but when they do — we’re borderline guaranteed a spectacle. His latest, out in June, is another celebration of music, a biopic with the limelight focused intently on the undisputed King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley. Taking the titular lead, is Austin Butler — who you may remember from playing tussled high school crushes in both Hannah Montanna and iCarly — a finer pedigree for teenage hearthrob, you’re unlikely to see. Despite initially offering only a vague resemblance to the legend, the trailer showcases a stage charisma that feels hauntingly accurate. Tom Hanks joins the cast as Colonel Tom Parker, the controversial figure who ‘discovered’ Elvis, became his manager and helped forge an icon. We’re given glimpses of a world charged with racial tension, the entertainment paradigm shift left in the wake of the first truly global megastar, what happens when that star’s fire begins to wane, and the internal void that opens when the lights go off. Like a river flows, surely to the sea, darling, so it goes… This feels meant to be.

Expected: June 24, 2022

Minions 2: The Rise of Gru

This of course is a follow-up to 2015’s Despicable Me spin-off prequel, which followed the calamitous quest for purpose conducted by diminutive minions Kevin, Stuart, Bob. This movie’s role, in what we guess we’ll have to grudgingly refer to as the Despicable Me Universe, is the introduction of the minions into the life of a young (12-year-old at the start of the movie) Gru (once again voiced by Steve Carell). Before the shrink rays, before the orphans and pathologically-fluffy unicorns, we find Gru as an aspiring young offender who enlists the help of the minions following a failed attempt at joining the Vicious Six. The Six are a cabal of supervillains voiced by some considerable 80s and 90s action movie clout —  Jean-Claude Van Damme, Lucy Lawless, Dolph Lundgren, and Danny Trejo.

Expected: June 30, 2022